Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
