so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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