Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
