he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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