who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
