i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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