I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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