Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
