somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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