Im at strip club and am horny
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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