What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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