What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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