I think my vagina is haunted
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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