Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
