none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
