1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
