I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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