If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
