The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
