I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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