I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
