My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
