He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
