What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
