woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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