so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
