you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
