He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
now i know why i became what i already was.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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