You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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