Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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