I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
