They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
