Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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