I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
