The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
