i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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