I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
