cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
