yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
