um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
