Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
