Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
