i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
