Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
