All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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