NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
