I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
