I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
