Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
