I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
